Shedding In The New Year

"I consider the old way a pile of crap compared to the greatness of knowing Jesus inside and out..."

-The Apostle Paul (Nathan's Paraphrase)

So...I am pretty glad 2009 is over, how about you? Today I have been thinking about the differences between shedding (walking a path from an old place, someone, or a way of seeing) and clothing (walking a path towards a new place, someone, or new vision). Recently I got rid of a bunch of shirts, pants,and other clothes and gave them to Goodwill. They simply do not fit me anymore as I have shed 30 pounds in the past year and feel like I am 10 years younger...or more. Early last year my friend Scott introduced me to a new way- P90X; a home workout lifestyle that is designed to help you think and behave differently. He walked this new path and simply invited me to join him. He has been a huge part of my transformation as he has personally coached and encouraged me along the way. My journey is far from being over and it has really just begun but the change is here and the effect on my life has been transformational in how I see myself, others, and most importantly God. It is a new way of freedom through deepened desire that requires shedding an old way and clothing in a new way.

Shedding is a time tested physical and spiritual journey that involves the opening of desire. New desire often calls something out of us and that is a word called repentance. The word "repentance" is a word about movement and desire. It means to turn from one direction and to go in a completely different direction. Repentance is desire in action, not simply a belief system, dream, or trying to be optimistic. It is a series of small choices each day to press the play button and engage with desire for more...and this desire is deeply spiritual and physical. I have known many people who have tried to leave an old way or an old behavior that is harmful to their whole person by only engaging in only 1/2 of who they are. Lets say the harmful way is overeating. If someone who overeats just tries to stop eating large quantities of food they will usually not see results. It involves eating healthy foods along with a desire to be healthy...not just behaving healthy. The way out is to engage with desire, and this naturally leads to a new way of thinking and doing that starves the old way...letting it die a cruel, essential, and meaningful death.

Clothing is a patient physical and spiritual hunt that involves the deepening of desire. For me, one of the more difficult questions to answer is, "What do you want?" I often find myself stuck and speechless. Sometimes I will babble a couple things that come to the surface but not usually reflecting a deep sought out desire. I have found that the problem is in long hunt for deeper desire. Most of my life the narrative that I was given was one of holding desire in contempt and mistrust. There was often a fear of what desire would do if fully engaged in and so I would often bury it with doing "good things" so as to show everyone that I am "being good" and this sent a message to my peers that I am different because I do not desire much...I do not want anything more than to be a good boy and be easily satisfied. Wow! THat was like living in a large pile of shit and telling others I was enjoying it...that I was fine.  I am beginning to ask this question first now...I start with the deep desire question. If I do not ask the question, "What do you I want...really?" I will always live in the same place and I will not shed the old way unto new life. As I ask this question it is the beginning of the deepening of desire. In prayer I go further into my heart, a new heart where God resides, lives, and moves. WHen I come out of the hunt I find buried treasures of woven gold that the Father has been holding for me...and they are new clothes that fit! He places them on me and I become who I was meant to become!

I do not want to give the illusion that walking in a new way is easy, but the choices become clearer the further in I go. The integrity is simply my spiritual and physical "choosing" in the way I really want to go. And when forget or loose track of the way I ask my Father and He gently and powerfully leads me back in the new way. So what do you want? Are you aware of your desire for more? Are you afraid of shedding an old way? My prayer is that God would remove our fear with His love...that His kind love would deepen desire for true repentance and usher in this year of double portion blessing...an overflowing new golden robe that fits!

Comments

[Lee]

So much here.... Repentance trying to be a good boy... Etc... Good reading inthe am after some dark nightmares... God is faithful... Bringing light into darkness

[Jennifer Brukiewa]

Beautifully said my brother!

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